I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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