That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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