For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
