yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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