If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
