she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
