How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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