Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
