Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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