..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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