i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
