i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
