hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize