if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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