well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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