Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Plan B is the new Plan A
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
