Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize