i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
