I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
