help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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