So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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