So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
