So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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