Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
