Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
