I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Buhtt sex?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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