That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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