I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
