But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
