So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just made my gag reflex go away.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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