That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i drank out of a bidet.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
