I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
