You really coming over, don't trick.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize