who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize