At least make sure they are 18
Why
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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