i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
