Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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