there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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