I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
