Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
