Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This house was built for laser tag.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
