i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
