My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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