You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
