What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
