so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
