Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
