My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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