Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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