My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
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