careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
