Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
