My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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