So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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