Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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