woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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