thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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