Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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