I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
