oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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