k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
now i know why i became what i already was.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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