so that wasnt chicken after all
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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