He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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