'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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