well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just tell him i said nine months
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
