I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
