What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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