Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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