ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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