spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
