she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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