return my video game
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
