I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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