i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
