you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
